Randomness blues I

I put the I there because I'm sure it won't be the only randomness blues I'll have.

Aaaah, the randomness blues, something like the boredom blues, or the busyness blues, but not quite the same. I do hope you know what I mean. Maybe it's a culmination of both, with an extra ingredient, randomness, mixed through the whole blue-ish substance.

I didn't really have problems with this on the days before, and after some retrospecting without retrospectacles - I never seem to be able to wear those - I found the cause(s).
It was the enormous task for computer architecture in which I really didn't progress like I wanted, together with the latent tiredness I developed over the past few days, which is hardly felt when I'm captivated by my activity, and doesn't annoy me nor interferes with the refreshing feeling I get with dozes. The latent tiredness is just there, unnoticed, not disturbing, waiting to stab you in the back like a ninja.

Backstabbed before you can say :"Hey, did I really get backstabbed? Who'd have thought? I recall saying just yesterday that I'd never get backstabbed ever in my life. How wrong could someone be. Aaargh." True story.

So basicly, I wanted to offer my day to complete the task, but it seemed like my preparation came short, and I couldn't adjust my brains to absorb the knowledge and deeper insights of assembly language. I have to do that soon, and gain those insights...
This combined with the tiredness made me very distracted, unproductive existential student today, until I decided to give up and taking the rest of the day off. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny as a summer day. Not a clouded worry in the sky.

Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language. - Henry James

Once more the advantages of taking the dozes became clear as I took my doze this evening, it went extremely well and I woke up completely refreshed, leaving the previous mostly behind, but I didn't want to restart on the task. I'll do that spanned over a few days, with some lecture on assembly preceding it.

The combination of the pressure of having to achieve, wanting to, and the lack of power and skill to do so always get me down. But then again, I guess the combination gets a lot of people down.

Since I spent a big part of my day on that task, I didn't really do many noteworthy stuff.
I watched 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button', and I deemed it a shame I hadn't watched it earlier. I also caught up and built a lead on my friends in watching 'Cowboy Bebop' episodes. But that was after I gave up on completing that task, how filled with joy my evening became! My bike ride before writing this was short but satisfactory, there were a lot of people - relatively speaking - on the streets, but I'm starting to know the less crowded areas, funfunfun!

I know the feeling

I also further improved my culinary skills and decided never to buy falafel again. Yuk, I probably made it wrong, but man, never again. Baking tomatoes also was a fun experiment. I guess you can only get them to be black on a grill or something.

Talking about grilling tomatoes, my sleep today went quite alright. My noonly doze wasn't fully successful but the others were and apart from the hard moments described above I felt normal. Yay.

Today made me think about what rivers of self-development I want to set sail on again, and about how to implement them in my - hopefully not shipwrecked - life. Maybe I'll put my decisions in my post tomorrow, if I get out of it.

I shall leave you all be with an inspiring quote on the subject:

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker

Farewell and good night,